The Talmud’s version of marriage is very different than my marriage. I should not be surprised. The Talmud was written approximately 1500 years ago in an agricultural economy on a different continent. Nevertheless, the basic emotional relationship between man and wife (the Talmud would not consider same-sex couples) is missing, at least from the husband’s perspective. Instead, we are left with the impression that any shared moment is underlined with a desire and threat of sex. Don’t get me wrong. I desire my wife sexually more than ever. However, I also desire just being with her. Sometimes I even want to cuddle with her, with no thought of sex. For the Talmud, this is not possible. Of course, I also learned in today’s Daf that I am an Am Haaretz, an unlearned Jew (literally “Man of the Earth”). Perhaps if I was more learned, I would see my relationship differently.

Today we contemplate whether a clothed Niddah and her clothed husband can sleep in the same bed. A Niddah is a woman who has menstruated, but has not completed her purification process. Once a woman begins her menstruation, she and her husband cannot have sex for seven days and then she must purify herself by immersing in a Mikveh. We should also note that in a later tractate we will learn that husbands and wives are supposed to sleep naked together. Again, sex is always presumed. If a husband and wife are clothed and the man insists on having sex while clothed, the wife can divorce the husband and receive alimony.

Indeed, the Daf relates the story of a very promising young Torah scholar who dies very young. His bereaved wife went to his study hall and demanded an explanation as to why such a great scholar would die so young. The head of the academy interrogates the widow about whether they scrupulously observed the laws of Niddah. She reports that her husband never even touched her little finger! He then asks about her “days of white clothing”, which refer to non-menstrual discharges. She would have to wait a certain number of days after such a discharge before she could have sexual relations with her husband. Women would wear white clothing during these days to make sure they had no further discharges. During this woman’s “days of white clothing” she did not have sex with her husband, but she did eat and drink with her and slept in the same bed without clothing. The head of the academy tells the bereaved widow, “Blessed is the God who killed him.” The issue is not that they had sex during a prohibited period. The issue is that they put them in a situation where sex might occur.

We start considering the case of the Chazan (synagogue superintendent). Our Mishnah states that the Chazan can use the light of a lamp to see what Torah portion students are reviewing, but cannot use the lamp to read. The Talmud cannot come up for an adequate explanation for this rule.

The Talmud then turns to the strange ending of our Mishnah indicating that a Zav (man who experienced some kind of spontaneous emission) could not eat with his wife who is a Zavah (a woman who had a non-menstrual vaginal discharge). Both the husband and wife are forbidden sex partners until they are ritually pure. Again, the Talmud is concerned that dining together will lead to sex. (There is a great interjection here that the learned should avoid the company of the unlearned in case they start to hang out more frequently).

To determine what two ritually impure people may do together, we consider the laws of keeping Kosher. Observant Jews cannot mix dairy and meat (although the definition of “meat” is very different than what we now consider “meat”). The Rabbis dispute whether fowl and cheese can be on the same table. Everyone agrees that fowl cannot be eaten with cheese. If they are not even allowed on the same table, then obviously a man is forbidden to sleep clothed with his Niddah wife. To be frank, I am baffled by this logic and welcome one of my readers to comment and give a more detailed explanation. I am an Am Haaretz, after all.

The Talmud immediately attacks its own logic. In the case of the man and his Niddah wife, there are two people involved and with two people, we are less likely to sin because we watch each other. We learn this because two lodgers who do not know each other can eat at the same table and one can have meat and the other can have dairy. They are very unlikely to have a forbidden combination in these circumstances. Of course a husband and wife, even when the wife is a Niddah, know each other very well, so maybe the same leniency cannot be made. However, if they are sleeping clothed, this is very unusual and that should be enough to remind them not to sin. We learn that Ulla resolved the problem by saying we should just stay away from temptation. Again, there is only temptation if you believe that the only way a husband and wife can relate is sexually. Of course, this same Ulla would come home and kiss his sisters on their bosoms (although some say it was their hands)!

We introduce a new Mishnah. This Mishnah is different than all the ones that came before it. We do not learn new rules for the Talmud to debate. Instead we learn that in the chamber of Chananyah ben Chizkiah ben Garon the House of Hillel and the House of Shammai had a peace conference. However, there were more representatives from the House of Shammai than from the House of Hillel and Shammai was able to ram through 18 different laws. This incident is noteworthy because in most disputes between Hillel and Shammai, we follow Hillel. The whole incident is known as “The Eighteen Enactments”, but it feels like Republicans and Democrats, where one party gets control of a chamber of Congress and rams through laws with know bipartisan support.

Our Daf begins enumerating The Eighteen Enactments. I am not going to describe them in this post. They concern the laws of how ritual purity is transmitted between people, objects and liquids. They are highly complicated and I believe will be discussed in more depth in later Dafs. Warning, I am under the impression that they are even more complicated than the laws of domains and carrying!

Before we begin enumerating The Eighteen Enactments we have a debate whether the laws of the previous Mishnah were part of The Eighteen Enactments or whether the laws to come in later Mishnahs are The Eighteen Enactments. We also learn about the accomplishments of Chananyah ben Chizkiah ben Garon, the most famous of which is that he convinced everyone that the book of Ezekiel should be part of the Bible.

It’s late. We are stressed because of the ongoing social distancing from Coronavirus. I want to go eat dinner with my wife and talk to her about the events of the day, what I learned in the Daf, what movie we should watch this evening, or perhaps just talk about silly things that we read or experienced – all activities that don’t have to lead to sex, but are pleasurable in themselves. Of course, she eats with an Am Haaretz. AS we learned today, she probably should not.